Motherhood my way...

  "Parenting: unconditional love is bad." - Jim Taylor

I agree.

Those who knew me would tell you that i am the emotional type. Sometimes (really rare times) rational, but i am usually driven by passion. I get affected easily, i cry easily, i laugh easily. I worry about small stuff, long after everybody had moved on. Usually, chard is more rational.

I used to take pride for being such. I always thought that I am what I am because i put my heart into things. I believed that if something is done out of 'love,' it can't be all wrong. Time and again, this was proven wrong. With the many ( and i mean a lot!) mistakes i committed in the past, twas mostly because i wasn't thinking straight. It was because, as they say, i let my emotions take the best of me.

When my Gabriel was born, it was a different story. Even I was surprised! I felt that certain kind of 'calmness' that can't be easily disturbed by emotions (if i make any sense). I wasn't an 'OA' mom. When he bumps his head into something, when he climbs windows, when he jumps from a higher ground - I am not panicky. It turned out, Chard was more aligaga than me. I always think at those moments that i can't panick or he'll get nervous and may lose his balance. I believe at an early age, he has survival instincts and i trust that. I also had to overcome my fear of needles/vaccination just to show him it's ok. So the only time he cried from all those vaccine requirements was when he had his BCG. That was the first ever vaccination and he was still a baby then. Last month when he had to be drawn blood for the annual physical exam, he just looked and said "red blood". No tears, no fuss.

I also read parenting books, forums, blogs etc. It can be information overload sometimes, some may be confusing or contradicting but it's ok. I need to be guided by experts and more experienced moms, I can't just rely on my 'instincts'. (I just need to be more vigilant on 'research' found in the internet)

Love is emotion. So when i say unconditional love being bad, i mean the doting, OA kind of love that actually hinders the child from growing to his full potential. I am still emotional, I am still passionate. But when it comes to Gab, I can't be all 'heart.' Nevermind that i am called a textbook mom. Nevermind that i may come off as lacking. This is one thing i can't afford to screw up. I know this is far from the best parenting method, if there is one, but so far, it's working for me. And most improtantly, it is working for Gab.

So this fotojournal is dedicated to the sunshine of my life, the one that i love oh soo 'conditionally', Gabriel Hijo Pang. ♥♥♥

p.s.

* I will commit grammatical errors, misspellings, incorrect sentence structures etc..

* I will contradict myself

* I will be biased, judgmental and i will rant

* I am fond of side comments (yes, i side-comment myself) <--- see what i mean?

so please be forgiving. don't say i didn't warn you :-)