Today is our 14th year anniversary as boyfriend/gilfriend. 14 years! And in 3 days, it's gonna be our 6th year as husband and wife.
Wow! Congratulations, Mr. and Mrs. Richard Pang! More so, congratulations, Chari Tumapang-Pang! Despite all the things that happened - lahat ng kagagahan at katangahan at ka-ewanan mo, andami nun! - at the end of it all, you made the bestest decision of marrying the one who turned out to be the best man for you.
Ang galing-galing talaga ni Lord! He knows what's/who's best for you! Thank you for giving Chard to me. Cliche, cheesy, but really, i don't know now how i'm gonna live without him. Thank You!
To you, Mr. Pang: I.love.you. and and i am thankful for you everyday. Thank you for everyday. I know it's very difficult at times (if not most of the time), please never get tired of loving me.
When I read behavior economist Daniel Kahneman’s research
about parents being less happy than non-parents, I was like ‘weeeeh, di nga?!’
“He and his team
surveyed 909 working Texas women and found that child care ranked sixteenth in
pleasurability out of nineteen activities. Among the things these women
preferred were preparing food, watching TV, exercising, talking on the phone,
napping, shopping and housework.”
Wuuut? House chores - vacuuming clocked in higher than
taking care of the kids? weeeehh? This can’t be true!
But this result has also been seen in other research, some
in more positive light like kids do not make their parents happier.
“We assume that
children will improve our happiness. That's why babies are called bundles of
joy. But what's so interesting is that one of the most robust findings in the
social sciences - and it's been this way for about 50 years - is that children
do not improve their parents' happiness. In general, they have a net effect of
either zero or they slightly compromise their parents' happiness. There are
exceptions but overall the effect is zero to a slight negative.”
I’m still, NO! I’m at my happiest when I had Gab and Soleil.
That’s absurd. Does that mean I’m an exception? Absurd. Then I wondered, with
the numerous studies conducted, and with similar results, then there must be
some truth to it, right? They can’t be all wrong? But how come I strongly feel,
it’s not right?! And I’m pretty sure (pretty and sure :D) I’m not the only one.
Now, I’m certain.
Enter JENNIFER SENIOR with her book ‘All Joy and No Fun: The Paradox of Modern Parenthood’ to untangle
that paradox.
She spent time observing parents interacting with their children
and each other, and she went through scads of research studies about parental
happiness. She came up to the conclusion that, what those research data are
leaving out is ... *insert drumroll
here* … joy! Yep, J-O-Y! Joy is indistinguishable from other kind of pleasant
feelings, she says. When you’re happy, you just give it a five, for a scale of
0-5. But when you experience joy? It really goes up to .. uhm.. 11? It’s a different
category of experience.
The 5 I give for getting a good laugh from a joke and the 5 I
give when I see Soleil mimicking me when I hush our dog Raffy, is totally NOT
THE SAME! But with these data, they numerically translate to the same thing. Hence,
the conclusion. HAH! So NOT!
This explains why despite the woes of parenting, folks would
still want another child :D
I only read the synopsis and there’s another thing that she
tackled in the book: the gender difference in parenting. I can so relate! I’m
gonna get myself a copy, but before that I’ll be saying this new mantra to
myself, ‘when it comes to my kids, I Am The Standard’!
