How Can I Pray

As I was trying to organize my files - this is what i do when things get hectic and stressful to make things easier to search and hopefully to declutter/sectionalize my mind - i came across this document that i saved for supposedly an everyday reading. The discovery is really quite timely, reminding me to refocus and digest all these that I'm doing. It's a wonderful habit to form and i hope He gives me faith and guidance to sustain this :)

 

How Can I Pray? 

A great way to pray is to look for God’s presence in your life. More than 400 years ago St. Ignatius Loyola encouraged prayer-filled mindfulness by proposing what has been called the Daily Examen. The Examen is a technique of prayerful reflection on the events of the day in order to detect God’s presence and to discern his direction for us. Try this version of St. Ignatius’s prayer.

1. Become aware of God’s presence. Look back on the events of the day in the company of the Holy Spirit. The day may seem confusing to you—a blur, a jumble, a muddle. Ask God to bring clarity and understanding.

2. Review the day with gratitude. Gratitude is the foundation of our relationship with God. Walk through your day in the presence of God and note its joys and delights. Focus on the day’s gifts. Look at the work you did, the people you interacted with. What did you receive from these people? What did you give them? Pay attention to small things—the food you ate, the sights you saw, and other seemingly small pleasures. God is in the details.

3. Pay attention to your emotions. One of St. Ignatius’s great insights was that we detect the presence of the Spirit of God in the movements of our emotions. Reflect on the feelings you experienced during the day. Boredom? Elation? Resentment? Compassion? Anger? Confidence? What is God saying through these feelings?

God will most likely show you some ways that you fell short. Make note of these sins and faults. But look deeply for other implications. Does a feeling of frustration perhaps mean that God wants you consider a new direction in some area of your work? Are you concerned about a friend? Perhaps you should reach out to her in some way.

4. Choose one feature of the day and pray from it. Ask the Holy Spirit to direct you to something during the day that God thinks is particularly important. It may involve a feeling—positive or negative. It may be a significant encounter with another person or a vivid moment of pleasure or peace. Or it may be something that seems rather insignificant. Look at it. Pray about it. Allow the prayer to arise spontaneously from your heart—whether intercession, praise, repentance, or gratitude.

5. Look toward tomorrow. Ask God to give you light for tomorrow’s challenges. Pay attention to the feelings that surface as you survey what’s coming up. Are you doubtful? Cheerful? Apprehensive? Full of delighted anticipation? Allow these feelings to turn into prayer. Seek God’s guidance. Ask him for help and understanding. Pray for hope.

St. Ignatius encouraged people to talk to Jesus like a friend. End the Daily Examen with a conversation with Jesus. Ask forgiveness for your sins. Ask for his protection and help. Ask for his wisdom about the questions you have and the problems you face. Do all this in the spirit of gratitude. Your life is a gift, and it is adorned with gifts from God. End the Daily Examen with the Our Father.

Ring

Being the burara that i am, i lost a lot of stuff before. And although i am very sentimental, I so dislike that dismal feeling, the regret, that I have always preferred to accept the loss, forget about it and move on.

Until now, when I have lost my wedding ring.

It was a Wednesday when i removed both my engagement and wedding rings as well as my wristwatch to play badminton. They're a bit big since i've lost a little weight, i didn't want them flying right off my finger. i should have left them on :( Thursday, as i prepare to go to work and reached for them inside my bag pocket - i only got my wristwatch and my engagement ring. Right away a cold, clammy feeling of unease settles in my stomach. I searched my bags but nothing. I immediately told Chard. I know he was pissed but he kept mum about it. I didn't want to make a big deal out of it.I hushed myself with the thought that it will turn up eventually.

It's been over a month now. Still no sign of it. It's slowly dawning on me that it's gone. possibly forever. (and this makes me cry as i type it) :-(( As i look at my engagement ring so alone and so lonely on my finger - i feel heavy and drawn. I want my ring back! Never mind the monetary value, it's our wedding ring. i love its simplicity, its rusticness - the story behind it... I want it back!

14 years, baby!

Today is our 14th year anniversary as boyfriend/gilfriend. 14 years! And in 3 days, it's gonna be our 6th year as husband and wife.

Wow! Congratulations, Mr. and Mrs. Richard Pang! More so, congratulations, Chari Tumapang-Pang! Despite all the things that happened - lahat ng kagagahan at katangahan at ka-ewanan mo, andami nun! -  at the end of it all, you made the bestest decision of marrying the one who turned out to be the best man for you.

Ang galing-galing talaga ni Lord! He knows what's/who's best for you! Thank you for giving Chard to me. Cliche, cheesy, but really, i don't know now how i'm gonna live without him. Thank You!

To you, Mr. Pang: I.love.you. and and i am thankful for you everyday. Thank you for everyday. I know it's very difficult at times (if not most of the time), please never get tired of loving me.

I'm one happy nanay!

When I read behavior economist Daniel Kahneman’s research about parents being less happy than non-parents, I was like ‘weeeeh, di nga?!’

“He and his team surveyed 909 working Texas women and found that child care ranked sixteenth in pleasurability out of nineteen activities. Among the things these women preferred were preparing food, watching TV, exercising, talking on the phone, napping, shopping and housework.”

Wuuut? House chores - vacuuming clocked in higher than taking care of the kids? weeeehh? This can’t be true!

But this result has also been seen in other research, some in more positive light like kids do not make their parents happier. 

“We assume that children will improve our happiness. That's why babies are called bundles of joy. But what's so interesting is that one of the most robust findings in the social sciences - and it's been this way for about 50 years - is that children do not improve their parents' happiness. In general, they have a net effect of either zero or they slightly compromise their parents' happiness. There are exceptions but overall the effect is zero to a slight negative.”

I’m still, NO! I’m at my happiest when I had Gab and Soleil. That’s absurd. Does that mean I’m an exception? Absurd. Then I wondered, with the numerous studies conducted, and with similar results, then there must be some truth to it, right? They can’t be all wrong? But how come I strongly feel, it’s not right?! And I’m pretty sure (pretty and sure :D) I’m not the only one. 

Now, I’m certain.

Enter JENNIFER SENIOR with her book ‘All Joy and No Fun: The Paradox of Modern Parenthood’ to untangle that paradox. 

She spent time observing parents interacting with their children and each other, and she went through scads of research studies about parental happiness. She came up to the conclusion that, what those research data are leaving out is  ... *insert drumroll here* … joy! Yep, J-O-Y! Joy is indistinguishable from other kind of pleasant feelings, she says. When you’re happy, you just give it a five, for a scale of 0-5. But when you experience joy? It really goes up to .. uhm.. 11? It’s a different category of experience. 

The 5 I give for getting a good laugh from a joke and the 5 I give when I see Soleil mimicking me when I hush our dog Raffy, is totally NOT THE SAME! But with these data, they numerically translate to the same thing. Hence, the conclusion. HAH! So NOT!

This explains why despite the woes of parenting, folks would still want another child :D

I only read the synopsis and there’s another thing that she tackled in the book: the gender difference in parenting. I can so relate! I’m gonna get myself a copy, but before that I’ll be saying this new mantra to myself, ‘when it comes to my kids, I Am The Standard’!

Garage sale, anyone?

Sooooo, the rich and the famous are throwing a garage sale this weekend. Saw some stuff posted by Daph (Daphne Osena-Paez for those not alta like us, BWAHAHAHAHA!)  here and i really wanna go! Forbes park nga lang, so faraway from my equally alta place, Farview! I know i can't kaladkad the hubs to go there, he's literally scared of meketi (dun nga ba yun?) :( Also, we have a ton of things to do this Saturday.. Kaya Chari, priorities! But Hermes ties for P500? Kamown! I can almost hear Chard saying, 'aanhin mo yan?' :-))

Self-righteous is me!

I have a lot of flaws. A lot. and being self-righteous is just one of them. i often joke about being one but really, i am self-righteous.

case in point:
 M was making kwento about her online boyfriend. How he's crazy about her and the stuff she tells her. I can feel how kilig she is, but i can't get myself to be happy for her. Why? Because she is married, with a son, and as far as i know, they (she and hubby) are okay. So that means, whatever is going with her and that guy is... wrong.

HAHAHA! ANG LINIS KO! (pwede nang pumunas ng puting panyo)


So rather than beating myself up, and since it's the new year, I'll just try to work on this. As they say, recognizing/accepting is the first step. so, i'm on my way there. but darn, tis hard!

i.am.almost.awesome.

Cosleeping past infancy

I knew there has to be a better reason (aside from me being clingy :D) why i wanted Gabriel to go back to cosleeping with us despite the smaller space with Soleil entering the family picture. (This reminds me, we need to save up on that king size bed!)

Here's a very good read i copy+pasted from the Natural Parents Network on the beauty of cosleeping.

Five Benefits to Cosleeping Past Infancy

Cosleeping, also known as “sharing sleep” or having a “family bed,” is a parenting practice that still smacks of taboo in our Western culture. But recent scientific studies are building a much stronger argument for the benefits of sharing sleep with our children.¹ Yet even with the scientific support and the changing cultural perception of cosleeping, the subject is typically constrained to parents of infants.
It is still socially taboo to admit that you share sleep with toddlers or older children, but research shows that the taboo is unfounded. Children who cosleep are generally more independent and secure, develop close and lasting bonds to their families, and report more happiness and general life satisfaction than children who sleep alone. There are many reasons that sharing sleep with your children is healthy and beneficial even after they’ve started walking, but below are five of the best reasons.

Five Reasons to Continue Cosleeping Past Infancy

1. Cosleeping Can Further Both Trust and Independence One common argument against cosleeping is that it will create children who are more dependent on parents than children who sleep alone, or that cosleeping children will never learn to sleep alone. “But this is like saying that by putting a baby in diapers, she’ll be in diapers throughout her life, or that by using a stroller or carrying her, she’ll never learn to walk.”²
   As a matter of fact, the opposite is actually true: children who shared sleep with their parents are actually more independent than their solo sleeping peers. Recent research has shown:
   

   *Solitary sleepers have actually been found to be more dependent on their parents than co-sleepers.
   *Co-sleeping boys ages three and older were shown to have no greater difficulty separating from one or both parents than solitary sleeping boys. (In this study, girls were not observed for this trait.)
   *The majority of family bed graduates consider themselves more independent than their peers.³

   And why shouldn’t cosleepers be more independent?! They learned from infancy that they could trust their caregivers to quickly respond to their needs, no matter what time of day or night it was. “You are not encouraging dependency when you sleep with your baby. You are responding to a need and teaching your child about trust.”⁴ “Children, given time to learn to trust those around them, and thus learn that their own feelings and needs are legitimate, will develop a true, enduring sense of independence.”⁵

Melissa of Simple Whimsy and her family snoozing peacefully.
2. Parents Are the Ultimate Security Blankets The image of a child sucking his thumb or carrying around a treasured blanket or teddy is a very familiar one in our culture. Search the internet and you’ll find all kinds of advice columns and articles on how to transition children away from these practices. But research has revealed something very interesting: children who cosleep do not need replacement security figures. Children feel more secure as a result of being close to their caregivers.
   “When a child routinely goes to sleep in the presence of an adult, or with an adult holding her, it’s extremely rare to find thumb sucking or attachment to security objects.” In a study of children ages one to seven years old who all sucked their thumbs, 96% of them “had been left alone to fall asleep as infants. In stark contrast, there were no thumb suckers among a large group of children who had physical contact with an adult while falling asleep.” In a different study of children between three and five years old, researchers found “that solitary sleepers were far more likely to use a security object than co-sleepers. The researchers concluded that children use security objects as substitutes for nighttime human touch.”⁶
   Our culture emphasizes the desirability of teaching children to self-soothe, and parents are encouraged to introduce security objects to help in this process. But in the dark of the night, why not allow a child to experience the love and comfort of a parent? If we teach our children to rely on things for comfort, what effect will this have on them later in life during times of stress? Shouldn’t we be encouraging them to reach out to people?
3. Cosleeping Can Have Positive Effects on Self-Esteem and Family Closeness As Dr. Sears says, welcoming children into the family bed sends incredible “I care” messages. It says “you are special to us, day and night.”⁷ A little one welcomed into the family bed receives “countless hours more tender snuggles, and more affection than if she were left alone to sleep. If she wakes up at night, all she has to do is see you or reach out and touch you to feel the world is safe and right.”⁸
   And parents who fall asleep and/or wake up next to their children know how sweet it can be in those sleepy twilight hours. With everyone relaxed and cuddled up, children feel peaceful and ready to share their thoughts and stories, things that you might never hear during the hustle and bustle of daily life. “[Y]ou can get to know a family bed child on a level you might not otherwise. In the words of Thomas Anders, M.D., a professor of psychiatry at the University of California, Davis, School of Medicine, and director of the school’s infant and family sleep laboratory: ‘Co-sleeping encourages family closeness.’” These sentiments have been reinforced by research: the “vast majority” of both family bed graduates and their parents report that they are incredibly close to their families.⁹
4. Children Who Cosleep May Be Easier to Get Along With and Better Adjusted Than Their Solo Sleeping Peers Psychologists in years past theorized that children in family beds were maladjusted, insecure, needy, and that their parents were languishing in bad marriages. Recent research blows the old theories out of the water. Here is a sample of what we’ve learned:
   

   *Children who never slept in their parents’ beds were harder to control, less happy, had more tantrums, handled stress less well, and were more fearful than routinely co-sleeping children.
   *Co-sleepers showed a feeling of general satisfaction with life.
   *Children who didn’t co-sleep end up getting more professional help with emotional and behavioral problems than co-sleepers.
   *Boys who slept in the family bed had increased self-esteem and less guilt and anxiety. Girls had more comfort with physical contact and affection.
   *Children who had co-slept felt they weren’t as prone to peer pressure as others their age.¹⁰

   Psychologists have long agreed “that children who have responsive, sensitive, accessible parents are much more likely to be happier later in life. It should come as no surprise, then, that children whose parents are there for them day and night turn out so well.”¹¹
5. Everyone Sleeps Better As long as cosleeping works for you¹² and your child, why change it? If you can get past learning to nurse while sleeping and wild toddler sleeping arrangements,¹³ continuing to share sleep with your little one may help your whole family sleep better into your child’s preschool years and beyond.
   And when I say that everyone sleeps better, I really mean it. Scientific studies have shown that a family who sleeps together actually enters the different stages of sleep together almost simultaneously. Dr. Jay Gordon shared a beautiful illustration about the science behind this concept in his book, Good Nights: The Happy Parent’s Guide to the Family Bed (and a Peaceful Night’s Sleep!)¹⁴:
   

   Science is finally beginning to discover what babies have known all along: Babies are designed to sleep with their parents. And parents are designed to sleep with their babies.
   At the Mother-Baby Behavioral Sleep Laboratory at the University of Notre Dame, anthropologist James McKenna, Ph.D., watches an intimate dance unfold. It’s a dance in which there’s no leader, no follower, and yet almost seamless choreography.
   A mother and father sleep with their baby between them in a large bed in the laboratory’s comfortable bedroom. It’s similar to the way they sleep at home, only with infrared video cameras monitoring their sleep stages, zooming in on every roll of an eyeball, every twitch of muscle, all night long.
   All is quiet and still, except for the rapidly moving, closed eyes of the baby, mother, and father. They’re all dreaming at the same time. Moments later they enter a stage of light sleep together: The mother stirs, awakens for just a moment, and drifts back to sleep, moving her head a little to the left, her arm to the right. The baby stirs, moves her head to the left, her arm to the right. Then the father follows with the same pattern. McKenna, director of the lab, smiles broadly and nods his head.
   “It’s incredible watching these sequences unfold,” says McKenna, acclaimed as the father of this type of sleep research and the world’s foremost authority on the biological basis of cosleeping. “The synchronization that happens when parents sleep beside their baby is remarkable.”
   Similar experiments in England find the same dance with family bedders. But place the baby in another room, and it’s like putting a wall between a pair of ballroom dancers. Everyone reverts to their own rhythms, their sleep cycles coinciding only by chance.¹⁵

Breastfeeding Pinays is 1

My most favorite FB Group (second to KL, of course), Breastfeeding Pinays, is celebrating its first year anniversary today!

With the group's admins and members being so helpful, my giving the best milk to Soleil is now so much easier. I only wished this support group existed when i was breastfeeding Kuya Gab. I'm pretty sure we could have sustained it :(

Anyhoo,
Happy birthday BFP! More power!

Soleil @ 1: Planning Party Theme

Today is Soleil's 9th month! At this point,  Soleil aka pachuchay, chaychay, chiburber, abachuychuy

• is still exclusively breastmilk fed!
• has 3 teeth and one coming out - she loves biting her toys, sucking her fingers and hand!, munching on cloth labels
• eats solids 3x a day - she goes 'aaah' and opens her mouth when she wants more; her favorite is ginisang gulay: sayote, squash, carrots
• not much of a fruit eater
• drinks well from her sippy cup
• dances to 'twinkle, twinkle little star' and tries to sing 'tatatatatata'
• loves Hi5  especially the sing and dance parts
• loves her Kuya Gab! ♥♥♥ she gets excited everytime Kuya's around; she immediately stops crying whenever Kuya hushes her
• is sleeping through the night, from 8PM - 6-7AM - thank you, baby, for giving Nanay a complete good night sleep!
• doesn't want to be rocked to sleep now; she just turns and turns on the bed until she falls asleep on her own

Happy 9mos, my sunshine. You're growing up fast... too fast! I wish i could freeze the time so will have more of this beautiful day, everyday. haaay. I love you, babe, to the moon and back!



Speaking of birthday, eeek! i have exactly 3mos to plan and execute this little girl's DIY 1st birthday!
I'll be working on a (very) limited budget, so yeah, DIY is the way to go :-)



I've started looking for a theme, that's where you start, right?

Since i still have 'bitterness' for not pulling-off (argh!!) the Paris Theme for Chuchay's binyag, i thought of doing that theme for her birthday. At least now, i have more time to prepare. I saw this travel-paris theme birthday party styled by Luxe Parties, an events stylist who design awesome party venues! But, im pretty sure, they don't come cheap. :-)

Photo Credits: Luxe Parties

Photo Credits: Luxe Parties

Photo Credits: Luxe Parties

Photo Credits: Luxe Parties

Isn't it cute, and dainty, and shabby, and girly? I WANT! Actually all their party themes, I WANT!!! If only i have moolah to burn, i'll book them instantly!

But surprisingly, i was getting bored with the theme, and am actually ready to move on. hehehe

Paris Party Theme

 Anyhoo, i was looking for a unique party theme and came across this cool party blog which featured a rasta party!

photo credits: pinterest

A Rasta Party!!! what a unique and cool theme! I was already planning it in my head. How Soleil's birthday will be full of red, yellow and green - Bob Marley or Sebastian from Little Mermaid playing in the background - food served like fruit ka-bobs, buffalo soldier chicken, rasta pasta. I was sooo egzoited! UNTIL, i brought up the idea to Chard...

Chard: Rasta? Alam mo bang kulto yun?
Chari: Eeeeeeh... hindi naman yun e. yung theme lang!
Chard: Ewan ko beh, parang di bagay sa kiddie party....

Foine! When i thought about it, oo nga naman, hindi nga naman yata bagay ang associated sa weed smoking (yeah, men) sa kiddie party :D (i still think it's soo cool though so i'm bookmarking that page! :P)

Rasta Party Theme


Sunshine Party Theme! It is soo appropriate since Soleil is french word for sun (FYI). Yellow would be the main color, with touches of white and pink/green(?), i'll decide when im actually starting with the decors!

photo credits: google images

photo credits: google images

And she'll have a photoshoot just like this, that we can give as invitations.

photo credits: google images

 

 

 

It's done! SUNSHINE PARTY THEME it is :-) Now im excited! what to do next....

Manila Seedling Bank closing! :(

I got this email late last year and it really made me sad. MSB or Manila Seedling Bank (more to me like My Secret Bakuran - pinilit lang :D) is closing! :( Or at least moving to a new location. I heard they're moving to QC Circle. Although still near my office, it's not as near as that walking distance in the corner of Edsa-Q. Ave.

I heard rumors of Ayala purchasing and putting up a commercial center in that location. Mall na naman! Affected ako. Why? Because that's my go-to place whenever i'm stressed out. as ive said, sampung tambling lang sya from the office and i'm instantly transported to a different world. Makakalma ka talaga kasi nature, greens, flowers, herbs and surprisingly, plates, platters, glasses and jars at really 'subasta price.'

i'm still hoping for them to stay, but looks like it's final with all those notices of forfeiture na naka-paskil sa paligid. hmp

 

 

photo credits: google images :D

So, anyhoo, in support of their moving out sale, i decided to give out herb plants as gifts to my colleague. I hope they're thriving, i've attached those how-to-take-care notes that MSB generously provide. Mine are, woohoo! :)

The email said sale was until Dec. 31 but i still see 'business' whenever i pass by every morning so i guess it's still on-going. Plants here are way cheaper than those being sold in Sidcor Sunday market so will check it out this weekend for more great green finds!