It is funny how there’s not much excitement or shrieks with the second baby compared to the first. How the pregnancy holds not much surprises since you basically know what to expect.
It’s amazing how different my worries are for this second round. With the first, I worry about the baby a lot: Am I eating healthy? Am I getting enough sleep? Should I start listening to classical music? Do I and the baby have all the things that we need? (turned out, most of which we didn’t really need :D).
Of course I still think about all these things with this one, but they’re not on the front burner.
What is? My unico hijo, my Gabriel. Just like any mother, he is my life. He is the sweetest and he always surprises me with a new word, a song, a cute habit. Amazing how this little boy teaches me a lot of things about life. I wouldn’t be this ready for the second baby if it weren’t for the lessons Gab taught me.
And I worry for him. I’m worried how he will react to the addition of his little in the family. I’m worried that he might regress and feel jealous. But then again, maybe it’s just me. Being the wonderful boy that he is, I know he’ll rise up and be a very good, loving kuya.
Here’s a letter I wrote to remind him (and prepare me) of us and what will be us.
My Sweet Little Gabriel,
Thank you for coming to Nanay and Tatay’s lives. Our witty, sometimes very makulit, play-do loving little boy. Thanks for making Nanay happy everyday.
I know you can’t possibly understand what is happening to Nanay right now. Why I can’t play with you as much as before, or why I can’t accompany you to the park, or why you can’t roll over me anymore. You will be a big brother pretty soon. You will see Nanay becoming bigger and bigger J
With the 3 very short years that you are with us, you taught me a lot. You taught me what to treasure, you taught me how to be happy, you taught me how to love 'conditionally'. I’ve learned that the good things in life are free. I’ve learned that I have superpowers and magical hands that heal J I’ve learned that I need to be the best person I can be, because you are always watching and it’s amazing how easily you pick up things. I know I will learn more with each passing day with you.
Ever since you were born, my whole world changed. It suddenly became brighter and full of life. Everyday that I wake up with you beside me is indeed a blessing. I rush home to you whenever I am away, I didn’t want to miss any magical time with you. You’re still my baby boy and you will always be, but you will suddenly look so big when Ading gets here. I remember just staring at your little feet when you were born, and how I can’t stop kissing your tiny fingers. I still can’t get enough of you now and it’s amazing to think that you came from me.
When Ading gets here, I promise to put her down once in a while to spend time with you. We will have our own ‘date days’, just the two of us. But with your spirit, I’m sure you will love her. She will be here soon. 3 short months if she’s patient just like you. She will be celebrated and loved by everyone, just as you were. Please know during this time that you have my heart and Tatay’s too. Our hearts will grow bigger to hold enough love for you and Ading.
I would love to tell you that things aren’t going to change that much, that your life will go on the same. But that’s not true. Our world is about to be rocked. You will probably be woken up at night for a while. Oh and you will have to room out as well. You’ll be dragged to doctor appointments for her and I won’t be able to play as much while I’m feeding your Ading. You will have to learn to share everything. Even our precious play-do-do-do and cooking time everyday. But after a while you’ll find that you have a cool little friend and that all of your friends will think you are so lucky.
Because you will be. We all will be.
Because if she’s anything like you. If she’s half as funny, adorable and loving as you, there will be no way to get around loving her more than we can stand. Just think, you’ll never get a chance to feel lonely, as I’m sure she won’t let you. You will be the best of friends.
Always remember that you are and will always be my favorite boy on earth!
“I love you to the moon and back.”
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